Thursday, October 10, 2002

from Dan Savage in The Stranger

A discussion with Seattle wait staff, mention of our topic:
Dan: What's worse, fussy straight couples or fussy gay couples?

Kelly: Depends. Like lesbians?

Dan: No, like gay men.

Kelly: Lesbians are always worse tippers than gay men.

Dan: Why do you think that lesbians are such bad tippers? That stereotype just dogs lesbians everywhere, and yet there's always a grain of truth in stereotypes....

Alan: I mean, we can generalize about everybody. [Flying Fish] has a lot of great lesbian customers, and we serve a lot of polite gay men also. But then there are your fussy, old, 55-year-old queens and you just want to smack the shit out of them.

Kelly: They're the ones who hate women, who don't want a woman to wait on them; they want cute little busboys to come over to them.

John: I've never had a problem with waiting on gay men. They're great tippers, and always so nice to me.


Min: I once had an old, mean Southern queen order a mint julep from me, and even though I was busy, I did the whole thing--made an amazing mint julep with Maker's Mark and fresh mint that I scrounged up from the kitchen and chopped up myself; I even muddled, and garnished beautifully. I brought it to him, and he actually had the nerve to push his drink away and say, "Honey, I like my ice shaved--not crushed." And left without paying for his drink.

Dan: And Min's been treating gay men like shit ever since.

Friday, October 4, 2002

from Bitch Session in 2002

'Not necessarily on-topic, but close enough:
My bitch is to the pissy queens who go to an inexpensive restaurant and get a cheap dinner and order only water with their meal. They gulp their water down in five seconds and bitch and complain that the waiter "totally sucks and does not deserve a tip" because he is not stoping by every minute to refill the water: If you are shopping at a discount store, don't expect Nieman Marcus service.

What's wrong with the wait staff in our restaurants? If you're unhappy waiting tables, then quit. Don't take it out on your customers. If you want a tip, they put a fucking smile on your face, and come to my table at least once before you pass me the check and pretend you care how my meal was.
Comment: We can safely assume that the subjects of these bitches are gay men, not lesbians.