Mr. Rant on Lesbian Tipping Habits

Mr. Rant asks the chicken-or-egg question:

Why I Haven't Been Posting on LJ Lately:

[ . . . ]

Consumed by chicken or egg paradox of "are lesbians bad tippers because they get bad service, or do we give them bad service because they're lesbians?" *

[ . . . ]


* mostly lesbians have told me that lesbians don't tip. It's been my experience that straight white guys who go out in baseball caps and sweat pants don't tip either, so I think it's more related to wardrobe than sexuality.

And the [lack of] reaction in the Comments:

Hey, stranger.

Nobody's yelling at me about my lesbians and white guys don't tip comment. What is up with that? Thought Seattle was all PC n' shit.

Apparently not.

from Curve, lesbian magazine

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from Curve, a lesbian magazine. Are lesbians generally thought of as bad tippers and cheapskates?

I have a friend that worked as a waitress in the gayest part of San Francisco, the Castro District.

She tells me over and over again how lesbians in general are the worst tippers ever... she says that the reason lesbian bars and businesses do not prosper is that lesbians are cheapskates and do not support their community.

I know I am a great tipper unless the service is poor. I frequent the clubs on lesbians nights and spend money at lesbian businesses almost exclusively because I DO want to support the community.

But the other night when my wife and I went out to dinner with friends and our bill was over $100 and the woman who invited to treat us to dinner left a $10 tip. And it made me think.... maybe there is some truth to my other friends theory?

What do you think? Is there truth in this?

Comment: At least some of the participants in the discussion think there's some truth to the stereotype, though not necessarily themselves. Check out the comments.

from Bitch Session in 2003 - another one

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If you don't have the money to tip, you really don't have the money to drink.

from The W message board

from a comment on The W message board; the discussion concerned bad service.

[ . . . ]

Sometimes when its "the girls" having dinner, the hostess will decide that we want the cutest guy waiter. Now my friends & I certainly appreciate a cute guy, but we actually value competence in our wait staff above cutie-ness. I'm sure Biff just tells himself that we must be lesbians when he gets a crappy tip, because he was too busy flirting & flexing to get our food & drinks delivered. Hostessing is such a complex job.

from Bitch Session in 2003

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To the so-called master mind of Liquid Ladies: If lesbians learned to tip, maybe bars would be more willing to open the doors to lesbian parties. P.S. Stop talking so much; people come to hear the music, not your voice.

from Dan Savage in The Stranger

A discussion with Seattle wait staff, mention of our topic:

Dan: What's worse, fussy straight couples or fussy gay couples?

Kelly: Depends. Like lesbians?

Dan: No, like gay men.

Kelly: Lesbians are always worse tippers than gay men.

Dan: Why do you think that lesbians are such bad tippers? That stereotype just dogs lesbians everywhere, and yet there's always a grain of truth in stereotypes....

Alan: I mean, we can generalize about everybody. [Flying Fish] has a lot of great lesbian customers, and we serve a lot of polite gay men also. But then there are your fussy, old, 55-year-old queens and you just want to smack the shit out of them.

Kelly: They're the ones who hate women, who don't want a woman to wait on them; they want cute little busboys to come over to them.

John: I've never had a problem with waiting on gay men. They're great tippers, and always so nice to me.

Everybody: BECAUSE YOU'RE A CUTE YOUNG BOY.

Min: I once had an old, mean Southern queen order a mint julep from me, and even though I was busy, I did the whole thing--made an amazing mint julep with Maker's Mark and fresh mint that I scrounged up from the kitchen and chopped up myself; I even muddled, and garnished beautifully. I brought it to him, and he actually had the nerve to push his drink away and say, "Honey, I like my ice shaved--not crushed." And left without paying for his drink.

Dan: And Min's been treating gay men like shit ever since.

from Bitch Session in 2002

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'Not necessarily on-topic, but close enough:

My bitch is to the pissy queens who go to an inexpensive restaurant and get a cheap dinner and order only water with their meal. They gulp their water down in five seconds and bitch and complain that the waiter "totally sucks and does not deserve a tip" because he is not stoping by every minute to refill the water: If you are shopping at a discount store, don't expect Nieman Marcus service.

What's wrong with the wait staff in our restaurants? If you're unhappy waiting tables, then quit. Don't take it out on your customers. If you want a tip, they put a fucking smile on your face, and come to my table at least once before you pass me the check and pretend you care how my meal was.

Comment: We can safely assume that the subjects of these bitches are gay men, not lesbians.