from Pam's House Blend: Q of the day: bad tippers

We love Pam Spaulding of Pam's House Blend. Here's her take on bad tippers. Money quote:

I'm in agreement with the comment that lesbians are bad tippers. I know tons of lesbians who make far more than I do and either tip poorly or leave no tip at all. Yet lesbians are demanding of a waiter's time.
-- a Daily Bitch quote on the front page of the WashBlade

Is this some kind of stereotype that just won't die? All my lesbo friends tip well since we know how little waitstaff are paid -- tips are everything to these hard-working folks.

Kate and I are always generous tippers, so much so that in the places we regularly go, waiters and waitresses always remember us (sometimes after only being there once, which I cannot figure out) and want us to sit in their sections, and even chat with us about their day, their families, etc. We treat them like human beings -- and watch in horror as we see so many patrons skip out without tipping, or become the demanding table from hell.

Maybe it's because we're both polite Southerners and the above-mentioned Daily Bitcher is from one of the big cities (where the dykes are cheap)? Who knows? I simply think it's time to quash this stereotype.

Q of the day, particularly for the folks who are waitstaff or have done so in the past -- who are the cheapskate tippers?

from Pandagon: Q of the day - bad tippers

-
from Pandagon:

I’m in agreement with the comment that lesbians are bad tippers. I know tons of lesbians who make far more than I do and either tip poorly or leave no tip at all. Yet lesbians are demanding of a waiter’s time. – a Daily Bitch quote on the front page of the WashBlade

Is this some kind of stereotype that just won’t die? All my lesbo friends tip well since we know how little waitstaff are paid — tips are everything to these hard-working folks.

Kate and I are always generous tippers, so much so that in the places we regularly go, waiters and waitresses always remember us (sometimes after only being there once, which I cannot figure out) and want us to sit in their sections, and even chat with us about their day, their families, etc. We treat them like human beings — and watch in horror as we see so many patrons skip out without tipping, or become the demanding table from hell.

Maybe it’s because we’re both polite Southerners and the above-mentioned Daily Bitcher is from one of the big cities (where the dykes are cheap)? Who knows? I simply think it’s time to quash this stereotype.

Check out the comments and the update, too!

The Webtender Forums: Re: Tippers - Heterosexual vs Homosexual

from The Webtender Forums:

Re: Tippers - Heterosexual vs. Homosexual

> My findings: gay men are excessive tippers, you
> almost feel bad for taking their money. Lesbians on the other hand
> are excruciatingly tight with their money and heterosexuals are fair.

> Thoughts anyone?

i totally agree, on a stereotype of reasoning. i believe gay men tip the
best, straight people set the norm for tipping, and blacks and lesbians are
the worst tippers.

my reasoning: back in 2002 i was going out with a cocktail waitress from
Laguna Beach. her brother was a bartender and is gay. He made a ton of money
each night. I was baffled. why did he make so much more than me, becuase the
crowd he serves is gay and the crowd i serve is straight?

her answer: many gay men work white collar jobs that pay well. most gay men
don't have children and families to support, along with being partnered. Dual
income, no kids. leaves alot of disposable income. it made sense to me.

as for blacks and lesbians being weaker tippers than the straight/white
segment of the population. I grew up in Seattle, which has a large gay
community (gays and lesbians). from my experience, lesbians are just shitty
tippers on the whole, no real reasoning other than experience.

[ . . . ]

from a Lesbian Wait Staff herself

hollywood farm girl [writing about working in NY]:

I remember bartending one night at a ladies' bar.... We ended up so packed full of people, they had to start turning people away at the door. Seriously packed. The ladies who were able to get into the bar were not that happy about it either. Not really any place to sit, barely a place to stand, and forget about using the restroom. I turned to the cocktail waitress who was helping me: "What the hell is going on?" She laughed and shouted back, over the din: "A Melissa Etheridge concert just let out!" and then I lost her in the crowd. I worked my ass off that night. I saw some friends who had been able to attend. I didn't. Couldn't afford to: every last penny was getting saved up for my big trip to LA. So I missed a lot of Melissa Etheridge concerts, but I sure as hell waited on her concert-goers. Just FYI: lesbians are the worst tippers. Gay men are the best. Straight men come in second, straight women come in third, and my sexy sisters come in dead last. I figured it's cuz women make less than men, and PE teachers make less than everyone else. But I loved being around "family". I loved working in a gay bar. I'm sure my regulars all freaked out when I started becoming successful and lied my ass off to the press about my sexuality. Ugh. How shitty of me. My eyes were on a prize that others had insisted was The Prize for me, and I had forgotten my goal in the first place: happiness. It's easy to lose yourself when you place so many others in charge of your life.

The Cattyshack, Brooklyn, New York

Here's the review of the Cattyshack, near Park Slope in Brooklyn. And here's the comment:

[ . . . ] I know us lesbians have a bad rap for tipping, but the coat check cost and cover charge stink!

from a comment on Bitter Waitress.com

Excerpt from a comment on a discussion thread called Bitter Waitress.com.

[ . . . ]

Actually
I've heard lesbians are the worst tippers, and the worst to serve.
Complain about everything when nothing's wrong and leave horrible tips.

from Waiter Rant: The original?

-
from Waiter Rant: Gay Friendly, June 20, 2005:

A young woman walks into the Bistro.

“Is your restaurant gay friendly?” she asks.

“Yes Madam,” I reply. I’ve gotten this question before.

“I want to take my partner out for her birthday. We only patronize gay friendly establishments,” she says.

Wow. Militant.

“You come to the right place,” I say.

“Are you listed in any directories as gay friendly?” she queries.

“Yes.” I tell her which ones.

Satisfied the woman asks, “Can I have a table for two this Saturday at 7pm?”

“No problem,” I say. I take down the lady’s information.

“Can I have that nice table in the window?” she presses, “it’s the first birthday we’re celebrating together and I want to make it special.”

I juggle some things in the computer. “The table’s all yours.”

“Can you tell the waiter it’s a special occasion?” she asks.

“Madam I’ll take care of you myself.”

The woman smiles, “Thanks for your help.”

“You’re welcome.”

Saturday night rolls around. The ladies come in and sit at their romantic table. I pull out all the stops. I put a candle in the woman’s dessert and even sing happy birthday. They hold hands and talk quietly as they linger over liquors.

No one bothers giving them a second look.

I sigh contently.

Love is love. It comes in all shapes, sizes, and orientations. There’s not enough of it in the world.

The ladies signal for their check. I ring it up. The woman signs the bill. They get up to leave.

“Happy Birthday madam,” I say cheerfully as they depart.

“Thanks for a wonderful evening,” the woman gushes.

“It was my pleasure.”

After they depart I retrieve the bill folder from the table and open it.

On a ninety dollar bill they left me eight bucks.

Shocked I walk towards the back of the restaurant.

“Check this shit out,” I say waving the check in front of Louis.

“Ouch that hurts,” he says.

“I can’t believe it. I was so nice to them.”

“Was that the two lesbians?”

“Yeah.”

“Figures,” Louis replies, “Lesbians are horrible tippers.”

“That’s a tad stereotypical,” I counter.

“It’s true,” Louis shrugs, “I’m gay so I know.”

I don’t say anything. I’ve gotten good tips from lesbians before. I can’t figure out why these ladies were so cheap.

I sigh.

Assholes are assholes. They come in all shapes, sizes, and orientations. And there are more than enough of them in the world.

I close out the bill. I’m more hurt than angry.

We’re gay friendly. Not cheapskate friendly.

I’ll remember those ladies the next time around.

And here's a great comment:

the owner of a gay/lesbian restaurant in Portland, OR took out an advertisement in the local gay newspaper a couple of years back; his complaint was that lesbians en masse would come into his place, order water, smoke cig after cig, and not leave for hours.

it caused quite a furor because everyone objected to the stereotype that lesbians are notoriously bad tippers and often very rude in public settings.

the truth hurts.

PS: on a recent return visit to this place, I noticed that there was rather large oil painting of 4 women, sitting around a table, drinking coffee and smoking cigs; title: “Bad Tip Cafe”. my guess is that most of the clientele still don’t get it.

Comment: There are even better comments later in the comments. Enjoy!
-