from a Lesbian Wait Staff herself

hollywood farm girl [writing about working in NY]:

I remember bartending one night at a ladies' bar.... We ended up so packed full of people, they had to start turning people away at the door. Seriously packed. The ladies who were able to get into the bar were not that happy about it either. Not really any place to sit, barely a place to stand, and forget about using the restroom. I turned to the cocktail waitress who was helping me: "What the hell is going on?" She laughed and shouted back, over the din: "A Melissa Etheridge concert just let out!" and then I lost her in the crowd. I worked my ass off that night. I saw some friends who had been able to attend. I didn't. Couldn't afford to: every last penny was getting saved up for my big trip to LA. So I missed a lot of Melissa Etheridge concerts, but I sure as hell waited on her concert-goers. Just FYI: lesbians are the worst tippers. Gay men are the best. Straight men come in second, straight women come in third, and my sexy sisters come in dead last. I figured it's cuz women make less than men, and PE teachers make less than everyone else. But I loved being around "family". I loved working in a gay bar. I'm sure my regulars all freaked out when I started becoming successful and lied my ass off to the press about my sexuality. Ugh. How shitty of me. My eyes were on a prize that others had insisted was The Prize for me, and I had forgotten my goal in the first place: happiness. It's easy to lose yourself when you place so many others in charge of your life.

The Cattyshack, Brooklyn, New York

Here's the review of the Cattyshack, near Park Slope in Brooklyn. And here's the comment:

[ . . . ] I know us lesbians have a bad rap for tipping, but the coat check cost and cover charge stink!

from a comment on Bitter Waitress.com

Excerpt from a comment on a discussion thread called Bitter Waitress.com.

[ . . . ]

Actually
I've heard lesbians are the worst tippers, and the worst to serve.
Complain about everything when nothing's wrong and leave horrible tips.

from Waiter Rant: The original?

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from Waiter Rant: Gay Friendly, June 20, 2005:

A young woman walks into the Bistro.

“Is your restaurant gay friendly?” she asks.

“Yes Madam,” I reply. I’ve gotten this question before.

“I want to take my partner out for her birthday. We only patronize gay friendly establishments,” she says.

Wow. Militant.

“You come to the right place,” I say.

“Are you listed in any directories as gay friendly?” she queries.

“Yes.” I tell her which ones.

Satisfied the woman asks, “Can I have a table for two this Saturday at 7pm?”

“No problem,” I say. I take down the lady’s information.

“Can I have that nice table in the window?” she presses, “it’s the first birthday we’re celebrating together and I want to make it special.”

I juggle some things in the computer. “The table’s all yours.”

“Can you tell the waiter it’s a special occasion?” she asks.

“Madam I’ll take care of you myself.”

The woman smiles, “Thanks for your help.”

“You’re welcome.”

Saturday night rolls around. The ladies come in and sit at their romantic table. I pull out all the stops. I put a candle in the woman’s dessert and even sing happy birthday. They hold hands and talk quietly as they linger over liquors.

No one bothers giving them a second look.

I sigh contently.

Love is love. It comes in all shapes, sizes, and orientations. There’s not enough of it in the world.

The ladies signal for their check. I ring it up. The woman signs the bill. They get up to leave.

“Happy Birthday madam,” I say cheerfully as they depart.

“Thanks for a wonderful evening,” the woman gushes.

“It was my pleasure.”

After they depart I retrieve the bill folder from the table and open it.

On a ninety dollar bill they left me eight bucks.

Shocked I walk towards the back of the restaurant.

“Check this shit out,” I say waving the check in front of Louis.

“Ouch that hurts,” he says.

“I can’t believe it. I was so nice to them.”

“Was that the two lesbians?”

“Yeah.”

“Figures,” Louis replies, “Lesbians are horrible tippers.”

“That’s a tad stereotypical,” I counter.

“It’s true,” Louis shrugs, “I’m gay so I know.”

I don’t say anything. I’ve gotten good tips from lesbians before. I can’t figure out why these ladies were so cheap.

I sigh.

Assholes are assholes. They come in all shapes, sizes, and orientations. And there are more than enough of them in the world.

I close out the bill. I’m more hurt than angry.

We’re gay friendly. Not cheapskate friendly.

I’ll remember those ladies the next time around.

And here's a great comment:

the owner of a gay/lesbian restaurant in Portland, OR took out an advertisement in the local gay newspaper a couple of years back; his complaint was that lesbians en masse would come into his place, order water, smoke cig after cig, and not leave for hours.

it caused quite a furor because everyone objected to the stereotype that lesbians are notoriously bad tippers and often very rude in public settings.

the truth hurts.

PS: on a recent return visit to this place, I noticed that there was rather large oil painting of 4 women, sitting around a table, drinking coffee and smoking cigs; title: “Bad Tip Cafe”. my guess is that most of the clientele still don’t get it.

Comment: There are even better comments later in the comments. Enjoy!
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Mr. Rant on Lesbian Tipping Habits

Mr. Rant asks the chicken-or-egg question:

Why I Haven't Been Posting on LJ Lately:

[ . . . ]

Consumed by chicken or egg paradox of "are lesbians bad tippers because they get bad service, or do we give them bad service because they're lesbians?" *

[ . . . ]


* mostly lesbians have told me that lesbians don't tip. It's been my experience that straight white guys who go out in baseball caps and sweat pants don't tip either, so I think it's more related to wardrobe than sexuality.

And the [lack of] reaction in the Comments:

Hey, stranger.

Nobody's yelling at me about my lesbians and white guys don't tip comment. What is up with that? Thought Seattle was all PC n' shit.

Apparently not.

from Curve, lesbian magazine

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from Curve, a lesbian magazine. Are lesbians generally thought of as bad tippers and cheapskates?

I have a friend that worked as a waitress in the gayest part of San Francisco, the Castro District.

She tells me over and over again how lesbians in general are the worst tippers ever... she says that the reason lesbian bars and businesses do not prosper is that lesbians are cheapskates and do not support their community.

I know I am a great tipper unless the service is poor. I frequent the clubs on lesbians nights and spend money at lesbian businesses almost exclusively because I DO want to support the community.

But the other night when my wife and I went out to dinner with friends and our bill was over $100 and the woman who invited to treat us to dinner left a $10 tip. And it made me think.... maybe there is some truth to my other friends theory?

What do you think? Is there truth in this?

Comment: At least some of the participants in the discussion think there's some truth to the stereotype, though not necessarily themselves. Check out the comments.

from Bitch Session in 2003 - another one

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If you don't have the money to tip, you really don't have the money to drink.